1. Shameless Queue-Jumpers
I know I have talked about shameless people so many times that if
each time I ranted and raved about them someone would give me a dollar, I
would have been a multi-millionaire by now.
I don't know what I did in my last life to have to meet so many thick-skinned and shameless people in each day of my life! Maybe I am shameless too, that's why similar things tend to attract similar things. But should it not be "like poles repel"? Maybe I was the monkey who raped a frog in my last life and now I am getting my punishment :(
Today during break, I was queuing up for my food impatiently when this thick-skinned sec three decided to ask her friend in front of me to "help her buy food", more shamelessly known as queue-jumping in my school's fashion. Wtf! I was breathing so hard to keep my hands by my sides to prevent myself from punching a hole the size of Italy through her scrawny face. How can you just shamelessly put yourself there? You who want to save time fails to spare a thought for me who have queued for so long! I am not even going to talk about how irritating it is for other people since I was so angry that everything else blurred out from my vision.
The person who allowed her to jump queue is terrible too. Golden badge some more, student leader eh! Are they not the moralistic dummies who always tell us to queue up, not to jump queue? What politeness week must greet teachers, must be nice to your schoolmates. That is exactly why I do not like such superficial activities. I have seen tonnes of people who do not do what they preach.
"Action speak louder than words?"
Yeah right. Some people love giving moralistic lectures but behind those well-rehearsed words are plain horribleness.
"You never jumped queue before meh?"
Well, to be very very honest, I did. Several times. But each time I have really valid reasons like going for my Board of Monitor meeting or for catching buses. And before I jumped the queue, I asked the person who's queue I was trying to jump, explain to her why I need to do it, and apologize. Most of the time they let me. I have stopped doing it totally this year if that justifies anything at all.
Anyway, my plan is to tap the next queue jumper on her shoulder and ask her why she has to jump queue. If she can give a good reason, then I have nothing to say. Otherwise, I am going to pour the Cheapo Pink Champagne from our school canteen into her bra.
Then I sat down at this table to eat by myself as Phiephie had to rush her project, and I was extremely irritated with this group of girls who share the table with me. They just squeezed and squeezed me till I was in this tiny little corner of the table, and I felt them casting irritated glances in my direction.
Gahhhh. I imagine them all turning into smelly rats. Then some person came along and decided to run tests on these evil menaces.
I imagined this in my head:
Annoying Girl 1 (AG1): Eh here a little cramped arh? Why can't you seat somewhere else?=AG3 raises her hand to slap me, but due to my quick reflexes, I jumped up, grabbed the milo-flavoured water, and dumped it into her bra.= Ahhhaaa, the pleasure of soaking someone up and knowing that they cannot do anything about it!
Me: No I cannot. I want to sit here. I don't see why I should move.
AG2: She came here and booked the table for us! She came first!
Me: I was in this canteen since this morning. Does that mean that I booked the whole canteen?
AG3 (a smelly bimbo with kangkong in her teeth): HOI! We have more people! Just be nice and move away!
Me: Tyranny of majority is so last century. And no I am not a nice person to people who are not nice to me. Shut up and drink your diluted Milo. Talk some more and it is going to turn into milo-flavoured water with a shitload of ice.
AG3: Walao eh! -inserts vulgarity- Just move lar! So many table why must you sit here?
Me: So many tables!! I was waiting for you to notice that, so why don't you move?
AG1: (scratches her sour-smelling armpit) Eh! You think because you senior than you very pro meh?
Me: Why would you think that way? And that is irrelevant to the argument. And stop talking like an ahlian. =gives a disgusted look=
Wahhh and the pleasure of cooking up scenes in my head that will actually ever happen in real life! Okay, clarification, NY girls are not so ahlianish (mostly) and I believe they actually bother to brush their teeth though a small part don't wash their hair daily. Cough coughs.
2. Circular ArgumentsI repeat that I cannot stand circular arguments. Okay, maybe I never really say this before, but circular arguments are just as terrible as irrelevant arguments or arguments ad hominem.
So during Humanities we were watching this South African show called "Yesterday". And fyi "Yesterday" is someone's name in the show. I cannot imagine which dodo wants to call their child yesterday, because yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery and today is present!
Okay that was so infinitely lame.
Point is, imagine this happening:
Someone: Yesterday, I saw a movie!Someone stabs themself in their eyeballs so that they can die and not argue further.
Person named Yesterday (PNY): Okay!
Someone: >___< I was not talking about you. I was saying that yesterday I saw this really nice movie!
PNY: Why not today?
Someone: HUH? I saw it yesterday! What you talking about, Yesterday?
PNY: Yes yes, that is what I am asking. Yesterday.
Someone: =decided that PNY is cuckoo and decided to change a topic= Yesterday was such a beautiful day!
PNY: =blushes like a tomato= Awww. But I am not a day! I am a person!
Someone: No no, as in the day before today, Yesterday!
PNY: But....but I am Yesterday and I am beautiful!
Okay back to the point about circular arguments.
The movie began with this mother (called Yesterday, I know, fml) with her little child. So their conversation went like that:
Child: Mama, why am I not a bird?See? SEE? SEE?
Mama: Haha! Because you are not! (what does that answer?)
Child: But why am I not, mama?
Mama: You are not a bird because you are you! (like, you don't say?)
Child: Why can't I be a bird mama?
Mama: Because you are not one.
Child: Why can't I be one?
Mama: Dear child, stop asking so many questions.
I almost tore all my hair out watching the exchange between the mother and her child. Like why don't the mother freaking just admit that she does not know why her child is not a bird? Or just tell her child that, "Because mama is not a bird, hence you are not a bird." Much better right?
"You are not a bird because you are you."
Tell me what exactly does that answer!!! And of course, everything that adults can't answer will have "Don't ask so many questions" as a reply. Why don't you just get off your high horse and nod and say, hey I am a dummy so don't ask me!
I have A LOT of these experience with Circle Brains (CB).
Me: Why are you not going out?People who argues round the moon tend to raise their voice while reiterating their stand. As though by raising their volume, they are making sense. Didn't you hear?
CB: Coz' I am not.
Me: Yeah, but why?
CB: =raises her voice= I am not coz I am not!!
Me: No need to repeat! Asking you why!
CB: =looks at me like I am the dumb one= Because I am not!
Strengthen your argument, raising your volume does nothing but to show that you have a weak stand.
=nods in sympathy=
3. HomewreckersDuring CME we were discussing love, marriage and everything under the umbrella of perceived love. Me and Jumpy J. decided to ask the teacher for her opinion on home wrecker because dramas love featuring those people.
To my utter surprise and shock, my teacher falls into the category of "Love is all holy and beyond our control, if they are truly in love, then grant them such".
Her criteria for an eligible home wrecker is:
- Must be true love. Meaning it is not a moment of lust or firework like love, also not for money or power.
- The home-wrecked person does not have a child
For the true love part, I mean how can you tell whether or not it is true love or for other purposes? Also if the husband/ wife love can change, what makes you think that the love between the home-wrecked and the home-wrecker would be long long long long (too bad, direct translation of "chang chang jiu jiu" gives me longx4). Besides, true love whatever. So far it has not made any sense. I mean you marry because you think your love is true right? Otherwise why even marry? Then your supposed true love changes. So love is no longer true. Then how can you be sure that your newfound love is true? I think all this can just be summarised in one word:
That was not as impressive as I had hoped, but yes you are fickled minded if you marry someone and decided that you like someone else and hence you scoot and get married again and you see someone else and you liked the person again and yadda yadda the process goes on.
The child part make some sense. But wife leh? You marry her already, she waste some years of her best youth and you go off for fresh meat? Cannot be like that one lor.
Anyway I hate homewreckers in general.
Almost all dramas (esp long taiwan dramas) have a home wrecker each.
Jumpy J. and I decided that HW should be punished so that they stop being so "feng-shao" and go around wrecking people's homes. I said we should have this illusion like thing created by venom of the tracker-jacker (hunger games reference) to make the HW think that she has no vagina/cervix.
If she believes that, then she would stop being so feng-shao and go around hooking onto men and would instead hide at home and emo over the disappearance of a reproductive part.
If the homewrecker is those very evil, scheming vixen, Jumpy J. suggested (and me) think that they should have their whole reproductive system removed. :D Like dig out their cervix or something. :O Jumpy J. says that an umbrella should be placed inside, then opened. That will teach them for being so feng-shao. And for people who are gagging in horror, I (and Jumpy J.) were kidding about tearing out people's reproductive systems and ramming it down their throat. Sorry to spoil it for people who can understand our humor, but some people who read my blog has zero humor and cannot find anything funny and would probably sue me or something.
Sighs. Someone please kick all home wreckers to Venus.
4. Useless InventionsThere are so many useless inventions in this world, good lord. I cannot even imagine what was going through the person's head when he was making the thing.
|One of the top useless inventions. A rubbery pencil. Why?|
|You can't break it to relieve stress like you can with wooden pencils.|
|But you can't hold it properly to write something either.|
|The lead inside does not show up properly on anything!|
Jellyfish: I am bored! I shall leave my mark in the world so that when I am all eaten up and extinct, people will remember me!
Jellyfish: What shall I do? I shall invent a wobbly flexible pencil that is like I myself, spineless and all, to leave my imprint behind!
Jellyfish: This pencil shall irritate everyone to no end, and hence I will be loved!
Jellyfish are essentially dumb creatures I suppose. I mean anything who invents a pencil like that should have brain cells in single digits.
There is another dumb invention is the.....
|Yes. The Slinky.|
I cannot, for the life of me, understand why people invent such stupid things.
I mean, what can you do with a slinky? Throw it? Sling it? Pull it? Kiss it? Eat it?
How can it even provide any entertainment?? Maybe apart from demonstrating longitudinal wave properties. Otherwise, it is totally pointless.
If my future baby ask me to get the wobbly pencil or the stupid slinky, I swear I am sending him to Mars to be adopted by Martians.
And this post shall conclude with a chio picture of Jumpy J:
|Name is mosacied to prevent harm to Jumpy J. (:|