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How my brain usually talks to me 1

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I think my brain is the most rebellious part of the body, and it is definitely an organ that is detached from the rest of the law-abiding, shy and conservative me. *coughs*

Sometimes I have to chase my brain, which is not very nice.

My brain is talking to me almost all the time, and if it were to be a person, I swear that it would have been the most vulgar individual person on planet earth. My brain seems to find a lot of things unacceptable, ranging from annoying parents who makes ridiculous demands from me to unruly old folks that shove me around on the bus. Most of the time, I try my best to ignore such patience-testing events.

Sadly, my brain doesn't.

I remember once when this 20+ year old lady on the bus pushed me, and I was like blur and just got shoved out of the way, but my brain reacted almost instantly and violently. While I kept quiet and calm on the outside, I swear that rude brain of mine was keeping up a string of curses and insults at the fat hen who shoved me aside. It went something like that:
Me: .... ..... ...
Brain: Such a despicable fellow! The audacity of her! Doesn't she know who I am? How dare she!
Me: ... ..... ...uh....
Brain: The nerve of her to push people around like she is the Queen of England! My, how much do I wish that I can give her a kick up her ass.
Me: .... uh you don't have legs....
Brain: *ruffled* that is not the main point, the point is that such smelly toerags should be punished for their cheek.
Me: *tired* alright, calm down.
Brain: *continues to mutter incoherently*
That is actually one of the most polite rants that my brain has every had. My brain, unlike me, doesn't seem to be a very civilized individual, and it enjoys cussing and cursing people at every opportunity it gets. I try my best not to get influenced by my brain to speak vulgarities, but sometimes you have to understand that it is not easy to pay no heed to a quacking, grouchy and rather ill-tempered item that sits in your body no less than 24hours a day for every day of every year.

So in any case you see any vulgarities on this blog, you will realise that it really isn't me who is cussing in such crude manner.


Oh my brain will like to let everyone know of this quote it has picked up from somewhere, and it goes:
The first man to hurl a vulgarity instead of an stone is the founder of civilization.
That was...a truly spectacular comeback, Brain.

I remember my brain becoming very agitated each time I raise my hand to volunteer myself in some courses or training available in school. I remember that was this Formula 1 Racing Workshop conducted at RV when I was in secondary 2, and I was debating whether to join it. My brain spoke up immediately:

"Don't be stupid, it is so tiring and such a waste of time."

But I ignored its warnings and raised my hand anyway.

My brain was so furious that it kept up a string of harsh scoldings for the whole period that day. It went something like that:

"You blubbering idiot! How could you sign up for something like that? DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME I ASK YOU YOU GREAT RETARD??? How dare you...the guts you have to sign up for yet another course? Who suffers in the end? Me of course!!!"

My brain seethed for almost an hour before I had enough of it and eventually block its voice out from my ears. It is not easy to live with such a loud-voice and ill-tempered brain, you know.

Of course my brain does have its uses, and for that I am grateful. But sometimes, my brain feels like it is just too different, from me.

*to be continued...*


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