Yesterday night, I had this weird dream that I had no more underwear to wear because the only one available in my drawer was too tight, so in my dream I tried to get my mom to lend me some underwear, but she stood firm and refused to. Then I suggested that she can check if the underwear that are washed have dried yet, which she did so reluctantly. And poor me stood awkwardly in my dream without any undies. :(
|Weird and floaty dreams.|
After I woke up and went back to sleep, I dreamed that I was back in Nanhua, my primary school again and I was supposed to be studying there, but I was instead wearing my Nanyang uniform with my Nanyang PE pants. .___. So awkward right. Then we were all like lying on the floor (okay me only) and I forgot the rest. Oh but I do remember that my P5-P6 form teacher, who really detested me at that point of time, appeared in my dream. She was smiling at me evilly and telling me to sponsor my class for something, which I of course turned her down. In my dream I was wondering why she didn't ask the rich students that she normally sucked up to, like Eugene and others, and asked me. I remembered myself saying in a falsely sweet voice in my dream that I was too poor to sponsor such an extravagant event.
I think it is a really weird dream. Sorry if you guys can't understand, I will explain.
See, in P1, my mother didn't know that there was a difference between neighborhood schools and those more academically-tensed schools like Nanhua. So she signed me up for Keming which is just opposite my block. During P3 after the GEP test, she decided to transfer me out to Peihwa, but then I can't remember--we either received a call from the Nanhua principal or she also tried to enroll me in Nanhua, but I wasted all my Peihwa uniforms that I have already bought and went to Nanhua.
I remembered that when I just went to Nanhua, I didn't like the place at all, because the GO person was cranky and impolite and the school looked so much like a temple. (sorry guys, you know it is the truth). After a while I got used to the school and I loved the food the most ha! They sell popcorn chicken almost every day! Which is why I gain almost 10kg in one year aish. Yums.
You are probably waiting for me to say things like "After three years in Nanhua, I really loved my school and I was sad to leave it at graduation. I loved my friends blah blah...." but too bad, no.
First of all, I am a non-sentimental person. I cannot feel any sense of Déjà vu or anything close to sadness when I walked through the Nanhua compounds again. All I felt then was an immense sense of relief, like "Good God! Finally it ended!" and felt exceptionally eager to go to my secondary school. I look at the exciting prospect of going somewhere new, somewhere without our class bully Brian? Bryan? (I can't remember how his name was spelled.), somewhere where I can start a fresh without most of my old classmates. It felt good to let go of the past that I didn't want to remember.
So you are wondering, why am I not even sad to leave? It is really because that I had almost nothing to hold on to in Nanhua. I was really "Forever alone" in my class, maybe with a few other friends which are more or less forever alone too. I know I was quite a horrible person in primary school, but too much time has passed and I can't even remember why I didn't fit in. I just didn't.
|I was the odd one out.|
Maybe I was too arrogant? Because I always had felt that I was really good at my work and I didn't need anyone to help me, or to be with me, but I don't actually recall myself flaunting. Maybe it was because I didn't braid my hair? I remember Nanhua's rules were that girls had to braid their hair. I was at my most rebellious stage I think, and I refused to do it. I remembered once that I got my mom to cut my hair in a very choppy and terrible manner so that my hair couldn't be braided. I didn't see why such school rules were in place. I thought they were weird, and they me, for not fitting in.
I remember in my first year there during P4, nobody believed me when I told them that I used to do really well in my class. (Alright, I realized, I was arrogant. But you have to understand that my results were my only source of pride.) Some laughed, some scoffed. But then CA1 came down and I did really well, I topped both Science and English. That was really cool. But I broke down at my maths score. I can still remember it till today. I got a 95.5/100. I know I know. It is really good. But I was shocked because I got the Maths Prize in Primary 3 ( I maintained 100 throughout the year hehe), so I was disappointed.
Anyways enough of my boasting. I just didn't fit in, and I didn't mind not fitting in, end of story. But most of my teachers were nice, like Mr Kum, Ms Sam, Xie laoshi. Those were my favourite teachers. Some didn't teach well, some really weird, and one particular teacher worshipped all the richer students in class. It was so obvious that it was actually quite revolting to watch it.
Some days ago, I went out with my senior in Shooting, Siyao. We went to Jurong Point, and we were supposed to meet at 1pm. I arrived a bit earlier so I went to walk around. Then I received text from Siyao that she was there so I rushed off to meet her. On the escalator there was this old lady that looked like she was 60+ in age and she was standing in the MIDDLE of the escalator step, and she had her shopping cart blocking the whole step she was standing on. I was in a hurry to see Siyao because I didn't like being late, especially when I came early, so I told the old lady to "Excuse me".
She didn't even turn. So I repeated my request for her to let me pass. She still didn't budge. So while muttering "excuse me" and "Sorry" under my breath, I flattened myself like a red blood cell does and tried to squeeze past her before dashing off to find Siyao.
So I was looking around for Siyao when this old lady came and stare at me. I gave her the look like, "Huh?" and she was like, "YOU PUSH ME ON THE ESCALATOR JUST NOW RIGHT??!"
For your information, I did not freaking push you on the escalator, I flattened myself to squeeze past you. And for your information, you were supposed to keep to one side of the escalator and not stand in the MIDDLE and obstruct everyone's way! I was in a hurry and I asked you 2 times before actually squeezing past you! Squeezing past you and pushing you is two very different things!
I was really angry at her blind accusation that was obviously warped and intended to arouse pity in passing people, but I held my temper and apologized. You think she would walk away. Ha!
Instead, she went on and on and on about how she was 70+ years old and how could I push her? IF something happened to her, will I be able to compensate her? Yadda yadda.
While she was yaddaing, I was just like, "sorry sorry, so sorry, my mistake" when it was not my mistake. Let me tell you to never quarrel with old folks. Later they pretend to have heart attack or something then you suay. Also, majority of the people usually will think that you are bullying old folks, but I am glad that in the MRT incident that happened, the girl stood up for herself. I won't because I didn't want trouble, and sometimes I just think that unreasonable people like the one I met were not worth my time.
Personally I think she was lying about her age, to make it seem more serious, and I didn't like her warping the facts that I pushed her when I did not. It made me feel very unjust and all, and that unnecessary talk about compensating her should something happen to her just make it seem like she wished that something would have happened so that I have to compensate her.
I was telling my mother that and she was like telling me that she witnessed something like that in China, but the person who was in my shoes didn't apologise at all. Instead, the person pushed the old lady on the spot and said,
"YES! I AM PUSHING YOU! SO WHAT?? "
And the old lady just had to crept away.
According to mom, the person actually didn't push the old lady in the first place but just brush past her, but the old lady wanted to make a big fuss out of it (because she is old and society tries to give in to them). So kudos to the person who scared the old lady. I bet she won't dare to be so horrible in the future.
You will remember that in my blog, I have always ranted about shameless people. Well I met another one today. An old man (what's with old people nowadays?) that is something like my mother's friend.
It went something like that:
Old man (to mom): Can I borrow money from you?
Mom: Huh why?
Old man: ....erms
Mom: What happened? *concerned"
Old man: My daughter wants to buy a house.
Tell me if that is not shameless!
LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER NEED TO BUY HOUSE YOU BORROW MONEY FROM MY MOTHER FOR WHAT???
Does my mother look like she opens a bank? Or that she prints money? So when you want to borrow money, you just go like, "Susan arh, can lend me 2K?" and my mom goes off to print money for you? Freak you man! I hate this type of thick-skinned, shameless idiots who tries to skive money off other people.
For your information, that old man's daughter already has a house. A two-storey flat which she just moved in not long ago. And now you still want to buy house? For what? To rent off right! And then earn more money. And when are you ever going to return my mother's money? Never right! Say "lend money to me" is actually a nicer form of "Give money to me" right!
I have seen to many of these shameless scums who revel in riches while owing people debts.
Listen to me here and listen good. If you want to buy a house, then please go and do some hard work, maybe take on 3/4 jobs a day to earn that MONEY you want to buy that fucking house. Don't go around borrowing people's hard earned money to buy your stupid house. If you cannot afford it, then you don't deserve it. OH HO! I have seen so many people who wants to look good with big houses, but so many are actually borrowing people's money to buy them and never returning what they borrowed. You know what does "Borrow" mean? It means that you have to return it! NOT GIVE.
You know what vulgarities are for? It is there for shameless people like you. So screw you and your freaking stupid idiotic house and too bad, we will never lend any money to scumbags like you.
Stop being so materialistic and wanting house after house.
I remember my tuition teacher (from Just Education) telling me about her relative who borrows alot of money from everyone and is already knee-high in debts, and yet he borrowed even more money to buy a Ferrari. Of course he never did return the money, he suicided or something after a few months, and the poor people never did get their money back.
So readers, let me tell you, learn to say "no" and never lend money to those materialistic idiots who would splash their whole month worth of salary on a Louise Vuitton bag. They probably will never return you, and you would be crying alone when they drive past you in their Lamborghini bought from YOUR money.