I don't even know how to start.

There are a lot of things that I want to share with you guys today, and I am feeling a variety of emotions now and even I myself don't know why. Maybe too many things happened all at once and I try too hard to think about all of them at one go, so now I am so terribly confused and baffled.

The Happy Things
Many delightful things happened to me today and I am really glad that they did. Firstly, I received my Kinopi Sleeves Jacket from the contest I participated in some time ago and I am really really glad that I have won myself a beautiful jacket. I would be doing a post on the jacket as well as Kinopi Sleeves once I have taken the necessary photos, kay? I am starting to fall in love with Kinopi Sleeves because their jackets are really so creative and beautiful!

Another few happy things that happened to me today was that I won Pu Niao's Christmas Giveaway! It is such a happy thing to win a giveaway I think! :D I felt so happy when Pu Niao informed me that I had won on Facebook. I also won Pearlywerkz's Sponsored Giveaway which made me doubly happy. And then I receive an email from my lovely facial masks sponsors that they have yet another set of Facial masks coming for me to review which made me so darn happy because I have been running out of Facial Masks so badly that I had to buy them (I bought My beauty Diary because it is having an offer!).

Some more happy things would be that me and Mom popped down to Ikea to get new blanket and a new pillow for me because I keep having mosquito/bedbug bites and mum is worried that those might come from my pillow and blanket which I have been using quite a while. As I am not someone who likes to use new things, I hate to throw away my old blanket and pillow even if they might be bug-infested (hey, I bath EVERYDAY!) because I love the smell of them. I think they smell like me, haha!

By the way, Ikea Swedish meatballs aren't as nice as everyone has been claiming them to be. They are quite your average little meatballs, covered in poo-coloured gravy that does not look appetizing at all. Me and mom had this platter of meatballs and we were like, "This is not all that fantastic huh~" because everyone who ate them had been narrating long, delicious tales of how Ikea Meatballs are the most delicious meatballs one can simply find on planet earth. I thought they were really quite normal tasting and if not for the fact that I was starving, I doubt I would even want to eat them. Sorry guys, I have some weird taste buds I guess? The grilled chicken wings are pretty cool though.

The Not So Happy Things
Everyone around me has been going on non stop about how fat I am, how ridiculously huge my legs are and all, and thank you all very much for your concern, and I mean it in a sincere, non sarcastic way. I know you are telling me at the risk of me taking a swipe at your faces, in hope that I would heed your advice (against all the odds of delicious food) and loose a few pounds. However, I think I would really appreciate it if you can be more sensitive in your advice giving and say it in a more gentle way instead of using a disparaging tone and a manner that make me feel like you are cramming your opinions down my throat. No, I am not angry, maybe just that little wounded and stuff, but I do try to keep in mind that you all are saying this for my own sake that I won't look like Madam Maxime when I attend JC next year. I have heard plenty of tales of how the boys can be quite insensitive there and I don't dare (and don't want to) believe it. *cups ears in despair*

Sometimes, just sometimes I will think about all my relatives constant nagging on how fat I am getting and feel really really sad and desperate. What if I really end up being 120kg? What if I got so fat that I can't fit into the lift? I am that imaginative and scared. Fear seems like a really powerful thing; it magnifies itself and manifests itself in the most terrifying manners that one can ever imagine.

I think the most hurting comments that I have heard so far are from my aunt and cousin who have the sensitive of a very blunt pencil, and their words are so...cutting.

They told me that any fatter I get, I would end up being unmarried and unwanted and well, if that is not all, I won't be able to get a job and stuff. I know my aunt is worried about me because she was once 78kg and shunned by the world and dumped at every first blind date, and now that she has slimmed down to 55kg, she won't want the same thing to happen to me or my cousin. But the way they say it...it just sound so terrible that I feel myself turning into vapor from the heat going into my face then.

I have slimmed myself down by 2kg so far, because I always slim down when I go China since I tend to sleep more and eat less, and from tomorrow onwards, I have to go jog at least once a day. I am really doubtful if jogging would actually work at all, but Kevin (my primary school friend) slimmed down that way and well, seeing a real life example, I might as well trust him than those phoney weight management centers. To tell you guys the truth, I don't have confidence that I would actually be able to maintain this kind of exercise/jogging sort of thing because I don't have the perseverance that slim people have. But then I am still going to try it and see how it ends. I have nothing to lose anyway.

Speaking of which, my dream weight is really 48kg because that is like the perfect number? 8 is twice of 4, well yeah, and that number just clicks with my brain. My brain likes it, but my tummy detests it. Well too bad, I am not going to live my life with fingers pointing at me saying that I am Hagrid or Madam Maxime so I have to do something, don't I?

The Grateful Things
Several days ago, while I was walking through Watsons and Guardian to look for some face masks to buy, I realized suddenly why I was having such a difficult time taking my pick. You see, I was born to be quite money minded and I always do consider the price of the item before buying it. All the facial masks are actually quite expensive, like the Snail Mucin Masks that I introduced to you guys? Each box costs around S9 for 5 pieces? And then My Scheming Facial masks cost around $15 for each box of ten. My Beauty Diary Masks are around that same price and I was just like standing there for a really long time and trying to calculate in my head like, "Hmmm, so each masks is like how much?" before buying My Beauty Diary Limited Edition (check out post here).

And then I turned around and there was this wide array of T-Zone items that I really really want to have (ARHHH!) and I noticed that the Exfoliating Daily Wash that I was given to review not long ago cost like $9 dollars per bottle? And to think that Nezon Marketing was kind enough to sponsor me 2 bottles! I was really touched at the moment, thinking about all my awesome sponsors who made my skin care routine perfect with their lovely items. 

So I would like to take this chance to thank all my lovely sponsors from Secretive, Skin and Lab, Lady Jayne, Nezon Marketing, Mentholatum and everyone else that I might have forgotten to mention. Thank you all so much for the chances you have given me as well as the trust in me to promote your products! You guys rock!

On a less serious note, I got a new brother. Um, non blood related. By the name of Philmann the Language Pro.
*claps him on the back*

Now that you are my brother, you are responsible for my next year and next next year's GP!!!! :D

*CHEERS!*