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Why I haven't been blogging recently

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Just in case any avid reader of mine (I wish haha) out there is wondering why I haven't been blogging so much recently, here is a relatively long update for you all to be updated on my sad miserable life.

Apart from the obvious torrent of homework that is coming in with relentless force and shocking velocity, there is something wrong with my immunity nowadays.

Like seriously wrong.

Last Monday I had intended to update this blog because we had half-day at school, which I exulted over, but in the end, what did I spend my half day doing?

Throwing up on and off for 4 hours in the bathroom, complete with stomach upset.

It was honestly the worst experience in my life.

I really did think I was going to die when I ran into the washroom for the fourth time in the few hours to stick my face into the unwelcoming toilet to puke my guts out. I got so morbid that lines of morbid poetry like, "If I die, let me die without pain. My life, it seems to be slipping away." were popping up in my head as the revolting smell invaded my senses. I had to sleep away the rest of my nausea and discomfort that day without completing any homework, and hereof, Mr Snowball bade me welcome cheerily.

I hate the snowball effect in school work.

Once it starts, it is like being trapped in this vortex of never ending work simply because of one's moment of ill health which served as an impediment to one's progress in the Pisa of homework. So I had to slough my guts out combating my work for the rest of the week.

Till yesterday. Yes Monday again. I am going to have something called Monophobia soon because of my sickness that occurs TWICE already, coincidentally both on Mondays.

After eating dinner at home, I went for a short nap. I woke up, feeling terrible in my tummy like there was some volcanic activity there, and panic mounted. I was afraid that history was going to repeat itself: the endless vomiting that will ruin the night and cause me to be unable to revise for Biology Quiz the following day, and the traumatizing thought of the snowball turning into a Snowman.

It would seem overly dramatic if I should say that "fear rose like bile to my throat as the blinding waves of panic gripped at my heart", but boy, it did happen. I placed my hand to my heart and felt its overly-powerful and too-fast pumping, as my stomach took another round on the roller coaster.

I was in tears as I went to my mom telling her that I feel like I was going to become the human Merlion again. My mom was so worried that she got extremely angry, asking me why I threw caution to the wind and drink cold drinks and ate the fried food at the DSTA reception. I felt miserable and ill and such a combination made me cried big blubbery tears as I think about screwing up Biology Lecture Test and stuff, and having to write a sonnet etc. I got scolded more, and half way through, I felt the gross combination rising to my throat so I ran to the toilet and BAM!

Good game.

Spent the rest of the night camping outside the toilet, trembling from I-don't-know-what and swooning from the nausea. Every little movement I made seem to trigger another round of vomiting. I sat outside the toilet, wondering to myself what was the purpose of life and all, and I started googling things on my handphone.

"What are the symptoms of stomach cancer?"
"What are the symptoms of stomach ulcer?"
"Does sleeping after eating make one throw up?"

My mom called my grandfather to ask what happened, and he suggested that I check for the symptoms of Helicobacter Pylori infection.

To my horror, almost all the symptoms matched:
  • Abdominal Pain
  • Bloating and Fullness
  • Dyspepsia or indigestion
  • feeling very hungry after 1-3 hours of meal
  • Mild nausea, relieved by vomiting
(Symptoms courtesy of The New York Times Health Guide)

I was really frightened then because the article said that mere infection won't cause this symptoms till there is an ULCER in the stomach CAUSED by the bacteria.

I was like, please let me die.

I slept early because I was still feeling ill, and early this morning my mom took me to Gleneagles ("Your health is more important than a mere Biology Lecture Test!") for a specialist diagnosis. The doctor initially felt that it could be food poisoning, which I sort of agree with, but then I wondered if it could be Helicobacter Pylori infection, and he was like, "Well, it is possible too."

After some basic check-ups, he probably think that HP infection chances are high, so he suggested...


Trust me, I almost fell out of my chair when I heard endoscopy, so I picked blood test without hesitation. True, to a certain extent I was afraid of the needle and the pain and of course nothing scares me (and weirdly, intrigues me) more than seeing my own blood drawn for the test, but blood test is NOTHING, nothing I say, compared to having a hose shoved down your throat. I say that such invasion of my GI tract would induce another round of gagging.

The doctor felt that endoscopy was the best way to determine the presence of HP bacteria, but then he agreed that since I am relatively young (like not 20 yet), so chances of cancer and ulcer are lower. Not to mention that an endoscopy would cost at least S$1000. I balked at the sum of money.

He sort of called up the nurse who was all nice and friendly and gave me a star-shaped squishy to clench on for the blood-drawing, but I was still scared and I was literally gasping for breath. My mom thought I was going to hyperventilate from all my gasping. The needle was quite large (compared to the one used last time when I was a kid, but memories of mine tend to deceive) and about a "test-tubeful" of blood was taken from me for several blood tests. The place where the needle raped my arm at still feels rather sore, and I refuse to remove the plaster because I know my blood doesn't clot very well, so I think I would leave it there for a day or two till it gets filthy. :D

I am such a wimp with pain.
Basically, if something is really wrong with me, the doctor will call and I have to go down again on Friday morning for another round of check-up, and eventually be prescribed with this terrible-sounding medicine that will kill all the HP bacteria in my tummy. The drug is probably evil, said to cause rashes and all, so I am praying hard that I am okay, and that I wouldn't have to take it.

Murphy's Law? Hopefully whatever that can go wrong won't go wrong this time. Just this once.

Pray for me, gosh. I am sincerely frightened.


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