Retrospect

I have been sick for almost five days now, since last Thursday night. It happened when I was sleeping - it almost always starts the same way for all my illness: my bones start hurting. Like a grinding sort of pain that bothers you minimally, nonetheless still present as you try to carry on with normal life.

Then I got really cold. It escalated quickly from there: I couldn't breathe properly from a blocked nose, my throat started hurting badly and in half an hour, I was burning up with fever.

I think I must have knocked into something when going to the washroom to wash my face because my mom woke up to check what I was doing making such a din at 3 am plus in the morning and she got a shock at how I look. (Not really sure how I look, according to her, I look like I was dead and walking.)

She felt my forehead, knew something was wrong and quickly took my temperature. It was rather high, at 38.4 degrees I think? I can't remember much - all I knew was that I felt so uncomfortable and so achy that I just wanted to sink back into my pillows.

I went back to bed and slept fitfully, texting people to inform them I was sick.

Hehe, I like gaining sympathy like that. *winks*

Anyways, when  I woke up next morning, I didn't feel any better. I couldn't eat anything, my head was spinning quite badly and I was feeling feverish and heaty all over. I was supposed to go out with my mom to shop for stuff that day, but she eventually had to cancel because I couldn't stand properly. I tried going out to get a snack, but when I got back home, I dropped onto my bed and passed out into deep sleep. I think my mom went out with my dad to do some stuff together (don't ask me what, I can't even remember what I did in those few days, ha!) and my fever peaked to 39.0 degrees.

I refused to take fever medication.

All my closest friends who found out that I was sick through a self-serving Instagram post of mine wished me well: I was secretly pleased haha. I mean, isn't that the whole purpose of "instagramming" things? To get other people to notice you and give you either praises, assurances or sympathy. But of course it also reminded me that the people who bother checking my Instagram are my closest friends in real life, because only they would care about me.

So to the girls (and guy) who messaged me, thank you so much haha, you guys are really awesome. <3

Back to the question of medication. A lot of people recommended a variety of medication to me, including paracetamol, panadol and ibuprofen but I didn't want to take any of those, especially not panadol. Sorry to Panadol company, but Panadol is pretty damn toxic. It damages one's livers in the long run, which is why I rather suffer from the fever and discomfort than to take it. Fun information: apparently the toxic from one Panadol pill takes 7 years or something to be fully cleansed from the body...

I couldn't conduct any lessons because of my severe fever but I persisted and did one lesson in total ultimately. Thankfully, the kid was very empathetic and sympathized with me because I was dripping mucus (heh). It was a fruitful lesson, thankfully.

I think I went out on Friday night...oh yes I did. Throughout the night my chest was hurting badly and I couldn't feel any strength in my upper torso to support myself, so I leaned against the wall whilst having a meal with my friend. I think that he thought I was really bored throughout the conversation, which wasn't actually the case! The stories he told are actually really funny, but for one thing, there had been this feeling of blocked ears in me for a while so I couldn't really hear him, and also it hurts my chest when I tried to speak or laugh. And it was also highly likely that all my facial expression came out to be grimaces...which is like yikes, major let down haha. Imagine going out with your friend to have your friend grimacing and sighing at all the things you say, feel kind of bad.

On Saturday and Sunday...I again can't remember much. I think on Saturday I didn't do anything much apart from having a fever: the fever officially took over my life for more or less 5 days where it went up and down like a roller coaster. Saturday night was meaningful I think, shall not share with you guys what it is because it is private, and only meaningful to me. Ha.

On Sunday, despite my fever I went to watch a movie! I know! I am pretty bad ass. I watched Tomorrowland, George Clooney was really good in the movie and the whole concept was really cool, though it didn't offer me the sense of completion that I would have liked.

Had lunch at Xin Wang Cafe. It is pretty cool, despite the saltiness of the food. And actually I find it too expensive in comparison to Itacho Sushi, because well, you can eat more at Itacho with the same amount of money.

Yummy but salty Ebi Baked Rice

 I didn't finish my baked rice because it was really really salty (might be because I was sick) and I didn't finish my grass jelly drink either because I thought it was too sweet. I know I sound like an old fuss pot here but I am really not a fussy eater! I mean, otherwise how would ever have turned into a fat ass, right? (Psss, reminder: I am no longer fat! Check out proof!) To be fair, I wasn't like morbidly obese obese kind of fat in the past, like I needed to wear a size M to L, but now I am down to an XS-M depending. Okay, enough of my fats.

Vegetarian Hor Fun

I persisted with not taking any medication.

Unfortunately, I also didn't take enough water. Which is very very bad.

But on the bright side, I ate lots of yummy food. Which may not necessarily be healthy or even suitable for someone with a persistent fever of 38.5 to eat. All right, that side is not so bright anymore.

Okay, on the brighter side, I lost weight, again! Ha! Gosh, now I am as slim as a pole (laughs). No really! Remember last time I was making all kinds of promises to defatify myself? Now I managed to do it effortlessly! Whee!

Okay, that side was really bright. My mom disagrees. She thinks it is a dumb thing to be happy over.

I ate this bento lunch this morning. I couldn't finish it. For once haha. My mom was saying that my stomach shrank from the size of China to the size of Singapore over the past half a year because I kind of just lost my appetite more each time I fall ill. And strangely, I am seldom hungry nowadays.

Ebi and teriyaki chicken. Yums.

I reflected on myself in the duration of my fever. I know I haven't been most health conscious...or rather not at all, because I am stuck with the notion that because I am young, nothing can happen to me.

Guys, if you all are thinking like me, don't. Don't ever let that kind of nonsense get into your head like it got into mine because you CAN GET CANCER no matter how young you are. Yes, read the newspaper: the general cancer-getting age has dropped from 60+ to like what? 10+? Like people who are still in school are getting cancer. We will more or less know of people or people who know those who had.

Anyway by Sunday night, my fever was still as high as ever and my chest was hurting so bad from a mixture of reasons and I had totally lost my voice. I couldn't speak without panting, and when I did, it took me so much effort to get the words out. Whenever I spoke a short sentence, I had to gasp really hard to breathe through my lousy blocked nose and mouth and raspy throat. (I have a nagging suspicion that my throat is so ruined, as are my lungs).

By Monday noon, I felt like I was ready to just sleep forever because I don't see myself getting better. I hadn't been so sick since exams are over (the last time I was sick for around 2 days in April, fever around 38.5, but I was feeling fantastic heh).

I caved in and took paracetamol. 

I put that in block quote because I am deeply ashamed of the fact that I succumbed to the easy way out of my (hopefully only) flu rather than waiting it to get over with. I was mentally and physically too tired to battle the flu virus in my body and I just wanted to be able to sit down at my computer without flopping onto the table like a sapling that has withered. And I googled paracetamol and all the chemical compounds scare me further as I started to remember my grandpa's research on how they can damage your livers in the long run and then give you liver cancer...(I'm guessing). My livers hurt just thinking about it.

Anyways, after taking the bloody pale blue pills, I flopped onto bed and snoozed. Within an hour I broke out into sweat and felt so much better that I was wondering why I wanted to put myself through the ordeal of battling my flu with my natural antibodies. I mean, why go through all the pains? My head hasn't felt like a head since Thursday night, it felt like the loudspeakers at a club - always throbbing. With the pale blue pills, my head felt like a normal head again!

By night time, the effects of the pills were gone and my fever was slowly rising again. So I took 2 more pills of paracetamol. I am deeply humbled by my own cowardice for not standing up to the allure of the medication. I didn't want to have the headaches, body aches or the burning fever at all.

Anyways, by now, I am still running a slight fever of 37.8 and thank god that my home has ran out of paracetamol (ha, all the rest are expired, so I don't want to risk it). I feel like if there were any more of those pale blue things, my livers would have been severely compromised. I feel so guilty that my livers have to work extra hard now to get rid of the additional toxin and each time I think about it, there is a sharp twang in my side (whichever side livers like to plop themselves in).

Anyhoos, I resolve to not drink alcohol or take anymore paracetamol in the future to protect my livers. Maybe I should try to be vegetarian again...afterall I had tried once before and it had worked!

To my livers who may read this, I apologize sincerely and vow to take good care of you guys.

Cheers!

P.S. A barrage of sponsored posts are coming up. Enjoy reading my rants while you can! :D