Honestly speaking, the fear of having a tube shoved down your throat into your stomach is really much much worse than actually having a tube shoved down your throat into your stomach.
For all of you who are lucky enough to have not done endoscopy before, or just too lazy to google a picture, here is how an endoscope looks like.
I was thinking about the thousand bad things that can go wrong (like perforating my tummy or my intestines) and a million Final-Destination-reque freak accidents like they accidentally put too much anesthetic into me and I just die.
Basically, I am pretty much a coward and was really freaked out.
When I was lying on that arm-chair like thingy, I was literally shaking and trembling under the blankie, whether it was from cold or from fear or a mixture of both, I didn't know. Then the nurse plugged this needle into my hand (where they will pour anesthetic into me) taped it there.
I actually did ask the nurse if there was any chance that they would go like ooops and poked a hole right through my tummy. She was like, "Very little chances."
That roughly translates into, "That actually happens."
Damn, you have to give her props for her honesty.
After that, the doctor came in to talk to me before I am knocked out, and this doctor is like teachers: he prefers talking than listening. He was asking me how I am feeling, and before I could reply, he is already nodding his head and going mmmm... so I figured I should keep my answers short or I won't get in any words at all.
So I said, "Pretty nervous."
The nurse was like, "She is seventeen and this is her first endoscopy."
This brings us back to some moment ago, where she actually asked me, "Is this your first endoscopy?"
I half wondered through my trembling brain goo whether there is actually anyone that got addicted to endoscopy, so that they go for one every half a year or something just to have a tube put down their GI tract.
Figured not.
Going back to the doctor and how he prefers talking and nodding as compared to listening, he was like, "So you have some pains in your tummy?"
This "Little Me" inside of me, a.k.a my brain was like doing this very annoyed little head-shake at his assumptions.
I hastened to correct him.
"Not so much of pains, just that after I eat..." (nod, nod) "...I feel really bloated despite eating little and will burp quite a lot..." (nod nod, mmmmm) "...then there is this weird feeling in my tummy..." (here he interrupted me to continue his narrative of my condition, cough cough.)
"Is the pain here?" (indicating somewhere above my belly-button)
"Nope!"
"Hereeeeee~~~?" (indicating all around my belly-button)
"Yeah sort of...you know like this squeezing pain thing?"
He interrupted me again and proceeded to mime squeezing a table cloth, "like this?"
"No no no! Not like that! Maybe more like a hungry feeling right after I eat."
He started nodding (impatiently, my guess is) again and hastened to conclude.
"Well, there are two cases. One is that you can have HP infection (haha harry potter infection -.-) or two, you have some food allergy. So we will check if you have HP, if you don't we will have a food allergy test!"
I was like, "Okie."
Then he took this clear liquid and said that he was about to begin, so the nurse came to me to put this mouth-piece into my mouth to keep it open, and took away my glasses. I felt this really cold liquid flowing into the inside of my hand, felt my blood shiver, replied to some question that the doctor asked, and then I was out cold.
The next thing I woke up to was the nurse ripping the tape off my hand and a dull stinging sensation where the needle had invaded me. My head was still swimming, but thankfully I didn't feel nauseous like the other people said they did. I had some pain in my tummy and that's about it. Okay maybe some stomach cramps.
Yup, so that was endoscopy.
(Shhh, sometimes I wonder if I really had a tube put through me....)
~*~*~
So what I am really annoyed with is that recently, I got really put off by this girl from one of the top JCs around here.
Point is, I barely knew her (smiling politely does not qualify as a "I know her") and she had the audacity to question my privacy.
First she was like, "Has your school started teaching J2 blah blah blah topics?"
I was thinking to myself, hmm well good question. So with all honesty, I was like, "Nope, have you?"
She was like no. So I was like okay, and went back to my work.
A while later, she was like, "Has your school given you all the next year materials?"
This question made me feel rather put off, for one, hello!!! I don't really know you which means that you are not entitled to any (honest) answers. Next, what is with all the "your school, your school, your school" fishing? Why would I tell you anything? Besides her tone was both demanding in a subtle way and oddly annoying.
Still, I answered her politely, "No they didn't, did yours?"
And she was like, "No."
Later again, she was like, "Do you have tuition for every single subject?"
I was so fed up by then that it took every iota of my long bred self control to not push her face into the wall and yell "Get away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" and I wonder and wonder to myself how in the world did I have such bad luck to ever run into such a nosy but pretending to be cavalier person. Her snobbish tone and questions did nothing to enhance the perfect impression I have of her other school mates I have had the chance to interact with.
Till today when I think about it, I am still fed up. Maybe I am just so narrow in heart that I cannot tolerate that little bit, but whatever. I satisfy in being narrow-hearted.
*~*~
I suddenly felt really annoyed with the printing lady at our school while I was at home.
Allow me to justify my sudden emotions: it was triggered by none other than 2 rather bad experiences with one of them. (The other one is okay.)
So there was this once where I happened to not receive my Biology lecture notes because I don't visit the class bench enough, apparently. The last one Clarissa and I found was crumpled in the recycling bin (hrrrmphs) and Clarissa kept it, so I had to photocopy everything for myself, with the class fund.
Anyways, I went to the print shop to ask the auntie to help photocopy one.
I had one of the most frustrating conversation I ever had.
"Auntie could you please help me photocopy this and bind? Thank you!"
"Why do you need to photocopy this?" (Her tone was gruff and not conversational, oddly)
The last time I checked, she wasn't a undercover cop.
"I didn't receive my notes when the class was giving out, so I have to get one for myself."
"What do you mean you didn't get one! I am sure I gave accurate copies to every class!"
Her voice was getting louder, her tone defensive and agitated and it was starting to get on my nerves. For lord's sake, I didn't even say anything about her not giving enough copies!
"No I am not saying you didn't give enough copies to my class, I am saying that I didn't get one. When they are giving out, I_didn't_get_one." (emphasis on the last part)
See, I am already trying to calm her down by telling her it is not her fault, just that I happened to not get one because like I say, next time I should plant myself at the class bench more often.
"But I gave you all enough!!"
Still agitated, and it was starting to agitate me as well. In my mind, I was like, "Stop! Stop! Stop being so overly defensive and just go and zap the notes already arrrrrghhhhh!!!"
Clarissa and Denyse fidgeted next to me.
"Yes yes I know, I never did imply nor state that you did not give enough. I am saying that I didn't get one okay? Like I didn't receive one so I am photocopying."
I was so close to my boiling point and she has to push it with her next accusation.
"So I didn't do anything wrong and it is your own fault lar."
I really blew up then, internally and it took the last vestiges of my strength to keep the really stiff smile on my face.
"It is not my fault, my class did not give me one. And I never said it was your fault, I am only asking you to photocopy this so that I can have notes. How much is it? I really need to go now."
Yes, right before I scream and yell and become a mad woman.
"Okay, I tell you arh, your own fault so we cannot print the original for you, just photocopy. We stop printing already okay!!"
Goodness gracious, since when did I even ask for an original print? If I did why would I bring Clarissa's notes to her and tell her specifically to "PHOTOCOPY"?
I was so fed up because of numerous reasons. For one, her attitude is really really bad. I don't know why, each time I see her (not the younger one with longer hair), she looks like she is permanently grouching and her tone has never been, in the very least, civil.
Furthermore, I only requested for her to photocopy something, and she could simply do that without questioning me (accusingly) and then bombarding me with questions and accusations while constantly defending herself.
While I understand that she could have been worried that she might have accidentally made a mistake, which she was in such strong denial of, she really could have asked, "Did your class get enough copies?" instead of "I am sure I gave correct number of copies!", when I have never made any implications nor inference that she did otherwise.
Finally, what was with the "original copy"? I was so miffed at that because she made it sound (to everyone else) that I was making things difficult for her by requesting an original copy.
Argh argh argh.
Now I always avoid having to ask her with any help because she likes to sort of glare-stare at me, a lot.
Okay, end of rant, so much better bahahha.
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